Saturday, July 26, 2003
dry
i just made a dent (finally) in CLEANATHON 2003.
i would put pictures up, but i'm too ashamed.
if you read the book dry by Augusten Burroughs then you know what i mean when i say i was a drunk like him. specifically, the bottles.
there's a lot of really weird shame involved with active alcoholism. i didn't know my neighbors (or anyone, really) but i did not want them to know i had a drinking problem which leads to some interesting adventures. one rule i had was not to go to the same liquor store twice in a row. because buying a fifth of Jim Beam everyday from the same place would mean i was an alcoholic, however, every other day did not.
the biggest problem was what to do with the bottles when they were empty. i stopped drinking beer and wine because of this - too many empty bottles. i could not throw them away because they were recyclable, and i could not recycle them because putting 10 empty bottles of bourbon a week outside for everyone to see (including myself) would mean i had a problem. plus, when you drink that much, it kinda starts taking priority over housecleaning.
my apartment was full of empty bottles. in the cabinets. in the closets. under the bed, under the dirty laundry, in the middle of the floor in the oven in the dishwasher on the table on the couch in my desk drawers.
hundreds.
and i still wouldn't admit i had a problem. i still didn't think there was a solution even if it was a problem.
now, i'm just a slob. i'm still picking up bottles, but only 10 or so at a time and they are juice bottles. and empty pints of Ben and Jerry's.
i was sober 6 or 7 months before i stopped finding bottles. mostly empty, some with drops, and once a full one - which scared the hell out of me. like my apartment had suddenly burst into flames and there was no way out. but i don't ever have to drink, for any reason. not today. not for the next 23 hours.
i would put pictures up, but i'm too ashamed.
if you read the book dry by Augusten Burroughs then you know what i mean when i say i was a drunk like him. specifically, the bottles.
there's a lot of really weird shame involved with active alcoholism. i didn't know my neighbors (or anyone, really) but i did not want them to know i had a drinking problem which leads to some interesting adventures. one rule i had was not to go to the same liquor store twice in a row. because buying a fifth of Jim Beam everyday from the same place would mean i was an alcoholic, however, every other day did not.
the biggest problem was what to do with the bottles when they were empty. i stopped drinking beer and wine because of this - too many empty bottles. i could not throw them away because they were recyclable, and i could not recycle them because putting 10 empty bottles of bourbon a week outside for everyone to see (including myself) would mean i had a problem. plus, when you drink that much, it kinda starts taking priority over housecleaning.
my apartment was full of empty bottles. in the cabinets. in the closets. under the bed, under the dirty laundry, in the middle of the floor in the oven in the dishwasher on the table on the couch in my desk drawers.
hundreds.
and i still wouldn't admit i had a problem. i still didn't think there was a solution even if it was a problem.
now, i'm just a slob. i'm still picking up bottles, but only 10 or so at a time and they are juice bottles. and empty pints of Ben and Jerry's.
i was sober 6 or 7 months before i stopped finding bottles. mostly empty, some with drops, and once a full one - which scared the hell out of me. like my apartment had suddenly burst into flames and there was no way out. but i don't ever have to drink, for any reason. not today. not for the next 23 hours.
# posted by keith @ 1:01:00 PM 
